


“we’ll just go to waste like dead flowers,”

by zacefronspants



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, eggsy has literal flowers in his lungs, hanahaki, hella angst, it’s just mentions of harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-22
Updated: 2018-08-22
Packaged: 2019-07-01 03:58:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15766140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zacefronspants/pseuds/zacefronspants
Summary: He pukes up fully grown gardenia flowers and ignores the after taste of blood and soil lingering in his throat that night.





	“we’ll just go to waste like dead flowers,”

**Author's Note:**

> im so sorry i found out about this trope and had to write it

It starts off slowly; an itch he can’t scratch in his throat and then a tickle he can’t cough out. He shrugs it off, says to Roxy he’s coming down with a cold and doesn’t think more of it until he’s coughing up a small, dusty pink petal that falls into his hands and he’s terrified. He holds it between his fingers and starts struggling between angry, bitter laughter and desperate tears because he knows why this is happening, but instead he still lies and says, “Ate one of them fancy Japanese raindrop cakes, had these petals in them an all. Must’ve gotten caught in my throat,” and he doesn’t know who he’s lying to more, himself or Roxy. 

Roxy raises her eyebrows and he knows she doesn’t believe the lie that dropped out of his mouth and into the air, and he doesn’t believe it either. Eggsy smiles and tosses the petal onto the floor, telling her that he’s genuinely fine and that it’s a cold, nothing more. He fights the urge to run his fingers against his throw to try and soothe the burning. 

Eggsy knows what’s happening, how to stop it, but the never ending mantra of, “I won’t ruin it. I won’t ruin it,” is an endless loop in his head whenever he feels a twinge in his chest and coughs bubble out of his mouth with soft colored petals and into his sink or his hands. Eggsy knows that if he doesn’t tell him or doesn’t get the surgery everything will be ruined and he’ll die, but Eggsy thinks he’s alright with that, as long as Merlin’s okay. He wipes his mouth and splashes water on his face and exits the bathroom tossing a dim smile towards Guinevere and ignores the sad smile she gives him. He’s fine, he won’t ruin it. 

It comes to a halting stop when he finds out everything’s been destroyed while he was playing around in Kalokairi on a vacation and suddenly he has nothing. Merlin claps his shoulder and tells him not to break, they’ll be alright, that they’ve found Harry in the states. Eggsy’s chest is on fire when Merlin walks away from him and the rubble that was once his home, Harry’s home. 

He pukes up fully grown gardenia flowers and ignores the after taste of blood and soil lingering in his throat that night. 

Roxy catches him, while they’re watching Merlin try and get through to Harry; he’s been throwing up into his mouth and coughing up leaves and petals since they got to the Statesman. She strokes his cheek once before she punches him and whisper yells, “Fucking tell him you knob, before I have to bury you too.” And he flinches, but Eggsy keeps telling her he's not gonna ruin it, not gonna say, "Hey I have flowers growing in my lungs because you don't love me," because Merlin doesn't need that right now, not with Harry being indisposed and lying in a hospital bed. Not with everything they both loved having been destroyed. 

He carefully ignores the soft sigh of his name and the gentle way she hands him a piece of gum and before she walks off to go do whatever it was she does when they’re not working tirelessly to figure out how to fix Harry. 

Eggsy can feel something poke into his lungs every time he breathes and he knows he’s on his last leg, but Harry’s just started remembering who everyone is and he can’t be assed to ruin that for Merlin and Roxy. Can’t be bothered to just say, “I have flowers in my lungs and I can’t fucking breathe.” So he grins through the wheezing coughs and barely there whispers he’s been letting slip out. Roxy’s been sitting with him at night, when the vomiting is so bad he can’t stop the loud sobbing. She rubs his back and calls him an idiot, Eggsy knows she’s trying to cope with the looming possibility of him dying before they’re able to leave and before he can pluck up the courage to tell Merlin he’s gone on him. 

He says, cheek pressed to the toilet lid, “I love him more than I probably should, you know? He’s a right git and a cunt sometimes, but he’s soft on me, I think,” and Roxy just smiles and helps him up off the floor and into his bed. She kisses his forehead and tells him that Merlin’s only soft for him. Eggsy doesn’t smile back, only nods and let’s himself sleep for as long as he can before he inevitably wakes up to toss his stomach out. 

Eggsy ignores the looks of worry on Roxy’s and Harry’s faces when he lands himself in the hospital, chooses to dodge the prying questions of why he’s vomiting flowers and leaves, who is the cause, why is he being so difficult, etc. and he’s acting like a child, he knows, but he can’t tell them why he won’t tell Merlin, he won’t ruin it. 

Roxy finally snaps and shakes him violently, Harry urging her to stop, but she keeps saying, “Stop being dense and fucking tell him! You’re dying you fucking wank, tell him or I will.” And Eggsy’s crying, begging her not too.

Merlin clears his throat and says, soft and kind, “My boy all you had to do was ask.” Eggsy blinks and blinks and blinks until all he can ask is, “Will you kiss me, Merlin?”  He grins and walks over towards him, shooing Roxy away and pressing a soft kiss to his lips and then a gentle smack to his cheek, muttering about Eggsy being an idiot for nearly killing himself. 

**Author's Note:**

> i’m sorry


End file.
